My Divine Role

I didn't ever think I would love motherhood his much. I didn't know that I would laugh at all the squeaks and grunts of my baby girl. I didn't know that sometimes I would go to bed at night excited to wake up and feed Madelyn in a few hours. I didn't know that  would love rocking her in the rocking chair while singing 'Give Said the Little Stream' over and over and over. I didn't know that her diaper changes wouldn't gross me out. I didn't know that  I would constantly think about her if I was away. I didn't know that I would be obsessed with taking pictures of her and videos of her. I didn't know that her little personality would be so cute and fun. I didn't know the joy that would come as I watched her grow. I didn't know that her little smiles would melt my heart. I didn't know that I would be so proud of her the first time she rolled over. I just didn't know. 

So with all that unknown why did I want to be a mom? 

Justin and I were married almost 3 years ago. At that time the idea of being a mother scared me to death. I didn't feel ready. I wanted to finish school. I wanted to enjoy my newly married time with Justin. And then Elder Andersen gave a talk in the October 2011 General Conference called Children. It made me feel anxious. The talk prompted me to pray and fast to know God's will for me. I told Him that I would accept His will even though I was nervous about being a mom. And after a few days I received an answer. It wasn't time yet. But my fears were gone. I felt at peace and I was confident that God would help me fulfill my duties as a mother when the time came. 

When the time was right, Madelyn joined our family. I know that God prepared me because I asked Him to. He answers sincere prayers. He wants to help us fulfill our divine roles. There are still many unknowns ahead of me in my path of motherhood but I'm not scared. I trust that Heavenly Father will guide me as I seek His guidance. I am His daughter and so is Madelyn. He is our Father. He won't give up on me. Ever. So I'll keep praying and trusting. I know that He lives and He is aware of all of our individual situations. What a blessing.